Roy's Blog: Lifestyle

May 20, 2019

What do people who are “not like the others” do?

Who decides “what others do”?

Someone in the crowd who is used to witnessing the “common denominator behaviour” exhibited by their fellow crowd members, behaviour that is typically non controversial to all because they’ve seen it all many times before.

When someone distances themselves and steps outside of the crowd to do something different they standout.
They are noticed because they don’t conform to what people are normally exposed to — they don’t fit the mould of commonality. And they are special in some way that others are not.

What do these people do to distinguish themselves in the eyes of others from the masses of people who all blend in to one another?

They don’t care

... about expected norms.

As opposed to being influenced by the majority opinion they choose to be guided by a different set of standards.
My observation is that this trait is not a learned one but rather an innate, instinctive leaning to “not give a sh**” about what people expect and to constantly push for the opposite to what is expected.

They ask “Why not?” constantly when an alternative to a commonly held thought or opinion is posed. Instead of going with the flow, their natural instinct is to breakaway and pursue a different direction.
“We’ve always done it this way” doesn’t wash with these folks; it provokes them and in fact fuels their energy to push back on the crowd mentality. They see continuing the momentum of past decisions as the reason so many problems exist in society today.

They hang out

... with weird people.

Like minded people tend to cluster; so these people join with other breakaway thinkers and doers to form their own tribes. Ironically they dislike the common crowd but love to create their own tribe of weirdos.

And they are attracted to places and experiences that are frequented by the different crowd. For example, you wouldn’t be surprised to see them having a burger at the Heart Attack Grill in Vegas just to witness their brethren participate in a crazy (and unhealthy) experience.

They are compelled

... to present a different point of view.

Compliance with crowd-think is simply not on their radar; their persona has the “step out” rather than a “fit in” trait.
Whereas the masses might advocate throwing more money at healthcare, for example, these people might suggest that the system delivering healthcare be fixed — re-engineered — first.

They would argue that it makes little sense to apply additional resources to a system that is inherently flawed; it’s wasteful of tax dollars.
And of course they question everything; it’s their way of formulating an alternative point of view to something that is accepted by the crowd.

They don’t follow rules

... in their youth their school report cards typically commented on this aspect of their class performance.

Remarks like “Roy is constantly challenging how things are done and distracts the rest of the class”, or “Roy on occasion breaks the school rules and doesn’t seem to understand that students are expected to conform with school policies” are ascribed to them constantly by the school establishment.

If a rule doesn’t enable logical behaviour, they resist it vehemently and press for its elimination or at least that flexibility be applied to bend it in certain circumstances. And killing “dumb rules” is their mantra to which they invest much of their emotional energy.

They make mistakes

... In fact, they are noticeable because they are proud of the number of mistakes they make.
They are naturally unafraid of taking a risk; they believe that risk taking is a necessary prerequisite to achieving remarkable progress.

And the corollary they have to this is that a high level of performance can be maintained only if someone tries a lot —> the more tries —> the more mistakes —> the more real change is accomplished.

They are insanely

... curious.

It’s what feeds their incessant drive to do what they do and stand apart from everyone else.
I think it’s a bit of a science gene that these special folks possess. They need to understand how things work and why things are the way they are; it’s the fuel that enables the to think differently and do different things.

Face value accounts for very little to the different ones; they accept nothing at face value but need to dive deep to know what’s really going on.
They view the current base of academic knowledge as their fodder for change.

Someone who’s “not like the others” loves the fact that they are slightly distant but realizes that it’s sometimes hard because the pressures to conform and NOT standout are so enormous.

Thankfully they are strong enough and persistent enough to be who they are — special, quirky, remarkable, weird, different, unmatchable, an ONLY one, distinguished and brave.

We need them.

Cheers,
Roy
Check out my BE DiFFERENT or be dead Book Series

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  • Posted 5.20.19 at 04:23 am by Roy Osing
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May 10, 2019

8 easy ways to boost your confidence in college — guest post

Boosting your self confidence is not something that you can keep up; it’s a roller coaster ride. Sometimes, you might be feeling great and happy about everything that you do, or sometimes you might feel like you are out of your element.
But there are definitely ways for you to improve the way you see yourself.

If you want to keep your self-confidence up as often as possible, then here are some tips that you might want to follow.

Encourage positive thoughts

Staying positive is not just another idiomatic expression; there really is truth behind the words.
If you invite positivity towards your daily life, then you will get a lot of it coming your way.
A positive attitude does wonders because everyone around you will remember you for how you see things better and how you see the good side of everything.

Find a confidence role model

You can find confident people anywhere around the internet. There are all sorts of people, whether virtually or in person, who you can meet or look up to.
And if you are looking for some extra confidence boost, you might want to find one from among the many social media influencers, bloggers, writers, and other public figures. You don’t have to live the same lifestyle that they do, instead you should look up to them and the way they feel confident about themselves. If they can be as confident as they are, then you can do that, too.

Don’t compare yourself to others

One of the things that can contribute to a low self esteem is if you keep on looking at others and comparing yourself to them. Not everyone lives the same life, grew up the same way, and thinks the same way.
You should think more about how you can feel great about who YOU are and what YOU you. You are unique in your own way, and that’s something you should think about.

Avoid missing classes

To be more confident about your studies and if you want to excel in all your subjects, you should attend every class as scheduled.
if you don’t attend a class and don’t have the opportunity to participate in discussions led by your college professor your confidence can be adversely affected because hearing how a subject matter expert explains a particular concept fosters a better understanding of it.
And the better you understand something, the more confident you are in it.

Focus on one thing

There are so many things to think about during college. But if you want to good grades and to graduate with flying colours, try to be more focused on your studies.
Learn how to prioritize and concentrate on what needs to be done in the moment.
If you have an exam coming up on calculus, for example, focus on studying and reading your calculus notes; leave aside all the other stuff you could be doing but isn’t a burning priority.

Realize you’re not alone

The struggle for a better self confidence is real and you are not the only one who goes through this challenge — give yourself a break and don’t feel so pressured about lacking some confidence every now and then. Remember that at the end of the day, we are all just human and you can only do so much.

There definitely will be times that you won’t feel so great, and on those days, just focus on things that you know you can feel good about. Focus your attention towards things that can help you see the brighter side of your life.
Maybe you don’t feel so attractive today because you didn’t get enough sleep last night because you were studying, but at least you’re going to own that test!

Look how far you’ve come

You are in college! That on its own is such a huge accomplishment, because not everyone gets to pursue this phase in life — but you are here now and you should make the most of it.
Look at it this way: if you made it this far, then you can make it through any other challenges that life may throw your way. Self confidence is a state of mind, and if you made it to this point in your life, it just means that you had enough confidence to get past the different challenges that are presented to you during your entry to college.

Take comments constructively

People will always have something to say. And it’s up to you if you are going to listen to them or not.
Whether it’s a solicited comment or not, you can always decide on how you will take the comments made to you. It might take you a while to get used to taking comments constructively because we have a natural tendency to get emotional about things that don’t seem to agree with our values, but if you are aiming for self improvement and more confidence, it helps to see things on a positive note.

It takes a lot of practice and patience to improve your ability to constantly find something to be confident about.

There are things that might affect the way you see yourself every now and then, but if you want to be the best version of yourself, it’s about time that you trust yourself now more than ever.

Love yourself, flaws and all.

Abby Brinn is a graduate of Drew “It’s Near New York” University, where she was an English Major and a Writing Minor. Abby is a bit of an academic overachiever, probably because her greatest educational influence is Hermione Granger. Now that she has graduated, she hopes to get a job in writing, editing, or publishing.

  • Posted 5.10.19 at 04:26 am by Roy Osing
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April 12, 2019

10 easy ways to leave your problems at home — guest post



When you spend eight hours a day in the workplace, it can be difficult to leave your personal life at the front door. While your job success is a big part of your life, it’s only one aspect of your life — and you don’t want to bring your personal life into it.

Whether you’re experiencing relationship issues, or you’re stressed about home repairs, here are a few tips to keep your problems at home.

Keep work at work

If you’re unable to establish boundaries for keeping your work at work, it’s going to be even harder to leave your problems at home. Time spent at home should be your time for dealing with your personal life.
Try to be present when you’re at home. Work-related items, such as a laptop or work phone, should be left at work. If you work from home, make sure you have a set schedule for work hours and leave all work supplies in your workspace.

Stay present during family time

Once you get home, live in the moment. If there are conversations that need to be had, or if you’re spending time with your kids, be engaged. Really listen to your partner when they’re telling you about their day.
Take time to have fun with your kids and be truly invested in their lives. Spend time manifesting the relationships in your life creating meaningful bonds with your family members. 

Find an outlet

You don’t need to live by, “Work, home, sleep, repeat.” Routine can get monotonous, boring, and detrimental to your mental health. If you are struggling with life at home, find a release that works for you.
Try to exercise, take a class, find a support group, or simply hang out with your friends. A healthy outlet may be the refresher you need to get back to work invigorated and not bogged down with the struggles of your home life.

Personalize your office space

An easy way to help out with our stress levels in by working in a visually pleasing environment. While you may not be able to redesign your entire office, try to make little changes to bring your personality to your desk.
Get a picture of your family, fancy office supplies, or a plant to freshen things up. Intentionally create an office space that you enjoy working in to help you focus on the task at hand.

Have a support system

It may be unrealistic to never talk about your personal problems at work. Instead of striving for perfection, select a few trustworthy coworkers as your support system.
Having coworkers who understand some of the things you go through outside of the workplace may be a way to relieve the built-up stress you feel throughout the day.
If you’re able to get things off your mind by talking to a coworker during your lunchbreak, it could help increase your productivity the rest of the day. It may ease your tension simply knowing that you have a network of trustworthy people you can reach out to if needed.

Take care of yourself and your home

Taking care of yourself and your belongings is essential in ensuring that you’re not constantly thinking about your problems. Make healthy habits by maintaining an exercise routine and scheduling routine maintenance on your home for example.
Taking care of your body and your home will eliminate some of the problems that may normally cross your mind at work.

Treat yourself

There’s nothing wrong with splurging every once in a while. If you’re feeling stressed, take yourself out for a nice meal during your lunch break instead of eating at your desk. Don’t be afraid to go out of your normal routine to do something that will bring you joy.
Never underestimate the power of unwinding to help get you through the last part of your day.

Take a breath

If you start to feel overwhelmed and are unable to get your mind off of your personal problems, consider going into a separate room and doing deep breathing exercises or mindful meditation.
Taking the time to clear your mind will make it easier to get back to the grind without having your productivity hindered too much.

Stay positive

Try to think about things in a positive light while you’re at work. One easy way to stay positive is by keeping a gratitude journal at your desk. Make it a daily habit to write something you’re grateful for and why.
This is an easy practice you can start so that when you get to work to shift your mindset from home life to a happy, productive workday.

Don’t try to be perfect

At the end of the day, nobody is perfect. It’s natural to discuss home life at work every once in a while.

The key is to make sure it doesn’t get to the point that it negatively affects your productivity or the organization’s bottom line.

Emma Cook is a recent graduate and freelance writer living in Raleigh, NC. She’s taking time to explore her passions and expand her writing portfolio. She enjoys writing about all things healthy living- whether it’s home life, aging, mental health, or seeking financial freedom. She’s passionate about helping people live their fullest lives and hopes to do so through her writing.

  • Posted 4.12.19 at 03:50 am by Roy Osing
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April 1, 2019

How to avoid losing it after you’ve got it

It’s an interesting challenge: you’ve invested your time and energy into achieving your goal and now you must continue to reap the benefits of your journey.

Resting on your laurels isn’t an option because there are so many people who would love to assume the position you’re in; who would like nothing more than to replace you.

To keep what you’ve achieved, you must keep your feet moving.

These six actions were very helpful to me in my career as I navigated my way through the hierarchy to eventually reach the executive suite of a major corporation.

Change it up

Never assume what got you here will keep you here or will get you where you want to go next. If you continue with the play that rewarded you yesterday, be prepared for disappointment in your current position.
This is a tough one for most people who have a difficult time morphing themselves from their past successful job approach to something new and different; they assume that if they continue to follow the vector they are on, life will be good.

I created an approach that worked well for me. I tagged it “the magic question” — “what do I have to do differently?”. It is a disciplined method of assessing what changes someone must make when they find themselves in a new role — a self intervention.

Continued success must be earned every day; constantly reinventing yourself is essential.

Work harder

It’s easy to drift when you have achieved the goal you have worked so hard to achieve. You sit back in your new chair, put your hands behind your head, take a deep breath and say to yourself “I’ve made it”.

The issue is, however, your current resting place is temporary; it lasts only as long as you continue to add value to the organization. Falter for a moment and there are many others who are waiting to step in.

Once you’ve got it, keep your head down, sweat more and and deliver more.

Keep your friends

Continue to nurture “the family” that has supported you up to now; you will no doubt need their support as you go forward.

There is a tendency for some people to lose contact with their friends and colleagues once they have arrived at their career destination; this is a mistake.
The more challenging the role you achieve, the more you need support around you to advise you and to simply be there for you when you have emotional let downs.

Make a point of thanking each one of your support team personally for their faith in you and what you stand for, and ask for their continues allegiance.

Learn something new

You have been rewarded for what you have learned in the past, but don’t rest on your laurels too long.

New challenges require new thinking, and anyone who believes that yesterday’s knowledge can be successfully applied to consistently solve tomorrow’s problems is in for a major shock.
Continuing to relying on the expertise you’ve gained up to now will make you stale, and eventually will lead to ineffectiveness in fulfilling your responsibilities.

Keep learning new stuff. Not only will it keep you relevant in terms of your ability to take the issues of the day head on, being ahead of the knowledge curve will provide you with the energy needed to maintain the pace and momentum you require for continued success.

Look beyond the horizon

Take the initiative to play a personal role in your organization’s future.

Get out of the confines of your new job description and develop your own perspective on where the organization needs to go to build value for ownership. Study how customer demand is changing and the likely impact it will have on your competitive position. Develop a profile of new competitors being licensed by disruptive technologies. And build your own view of the strategic game plan that should be followed to meet these new challenges.

If you provide strategic value to the organization beyond what is expected of your current responsibilities, you will establish yourself as an asset with long life to your bosses.

Draft your next chapter

You may be tempted to take a time out, rest, and enjoy the spoils of your efforts once you’ve achieved your goal, but don’t get sucked in to playing the game this way.

Take a deep breath perhaps, but then look for a new prize to focus on — lean into the wind and keep your journey alive.

Successful careers are built on a number of successive achievements; rarely does the “one hit wonder” happen. It’s a serial process of achieve your goal — learn and deliver success in it — look for other opportunities where you can add value for the organization — move on.

Finally…

Many people fall victims to losing it once they’ve got it. This is not only a travesty in terms of not achieving their ultimate potential, it represents an opportunity cost to an organization.
The victims essentially robs their organization of the future value they could have provided had they been able to leverage their achievement into added career success.

These six actions will at least give you a fighting chance to hold and build, not hold and lose.

Cheers,
Roy

Check out my BE DiFFERENT or be dead Book Series

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  • Posted 4.1.19 at 04:12 am by Roy Osing
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